The Monster with a Hole in His Heart
by That-Crazy-Onyx-Chick
Summary: She had escaped his evil clutches, and in a way, he was glad. He would not be able to hurt her anymore. One-shot for now, but may continue if enough readers want. Rated T for abuse. ON HOLD FOR NOW!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, Eli Goldsworthy, or Clare Edwards**

I had done it again.

She lay in a crumpled heap in the corner of our bedroom. She was shaking uncontrollably and even though she was trying to muffle her sobs, I could hear her, and the sound rang in my ears.

I reached out to her

"Clare ….Clare, baby ….look at me?" I knelt down on my knees in front of her and reached towards her slim, bruised shoulder.

"NO ELI! DON'T TOUCH ME!" she shrilly screamed as she shrank away from my touch. I shoved my body away from hers in a desperate attempt to make her feel safer. Although, I doubt anything could make her feel safer at this point.

My back slammed into the dark dresser next to our bed, and the knobs dug into the skin. I gritted my teeth and hissed. My eyes re-opened and I found my angel tearing across the room throwing most of her belongings into an old, beat-up suitcase that we had stored in our closet.

I knew what she was doing. She was leaving me. I couldn't let that happen! Clare and I belonged together, always! If she left me now, or _ever_, what would I be? There was no Eli without Clare.

She was speaking aloud now, but I couldn't tell if she was talking to me, or herself.

"I can't take anymore. If I don't leave now, then I'll always be here. I thought he said he would change, that this would never happen again. He promised, no, _swore_, that he would never again lay a hand on me. Why? Why, after all these years? Dear God, **what did I do to deserve this**?" she spoke.

I could only stare after her, speechless

"_Oh, don't act like you weren't! I saw how you were flirting with __**him**__! What, did you think I was blind? That I couldn't tell?" I grabbed her arm and yanked her into the kitchen, the heels of her shoes dragging the entire way._

"_Eli, stop it! I wasn't flirting with him! I was only having a good time with a friend that I hadn't seen in a long time! That I __**couldn't**__ see in a long time, because you keep me locked up in this house with __**you!"**__ she walked away from me and turned towards the sink, her back facing me._

"_That's right Clare. You are with me, and that's what you always wanted. So what, now I'm not good enough for you?" I could feel my anger level rising and knew that this was getting too much out of control._

"_You know what Clare, I'm done. We're finished discussing this. I'm going to bed." I walked across the room, but stopped when I heard the glass break and felt the pieces shatter next to my ear. I turned around to find her face beaming red and her hands grasping the counter behind her._

_And that's when I lost it. I couldn't control myself as I sprinted towards her and grabbed her hair at the roots. I pushed her towards the ground on her back and sat on top of her legs. She was small, but she knew how to put up a fight when needed. I punched her repeatedly, while my other hand was digging my nails into her tender flesh and keeping her legs pinned beneath me._

_I swore to her that this would never happen again. But my mid was not letting me remember that promise as I beat her and shouted into her ear._

"_YOU BELONG TO ME, CLARE EDWARDS! YOU WILL ALWAYS BELONG TO ME. EVERY PART OF YOU BELONGS TO ME. YOUR NECK, WHICH I COULD EASILY SNAP WITH MY HANDS, YOU ARMS THAT I CAN EASILY BEND BACKWARDS UNTIL YOU'RE SHRIEKING AND BEGGING ME TO STOP, YOUR ENTIRE BODY!" I knew I was hurting her. I could hear her already begging and sobbing and screaming, and it only added fuel to the fire that was me._

"_BUT YOUR MIND ALSO BELONGS TO ME. YOU WANTED ME FOR SO LONG, BUT WHEN YOU FINALLY GOT ME TO LOOK YOUR WAY, YOU HAD NO IDEA WHAT YOU WHERE GETTING YOURSELF INTO. OH YES, I PROMISED THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN, BUT OBVIOUSLY I LIED. YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS ACTUALLY TELLING THE TRUTH DID YOU? OR DID YOU STAY BECAUSE YOUR GET SOME KIND OF SICK PLEASURE FROM THIS?" My mind had finally registered the promise I made, but my anger had turned it around to hurt her. It was a lie, I did intend to keep that promise, I had no intentions of breaking it. And what I was saying was in no way the truth. __**I**__ was the one to get some kind of sick, twisted high of this abuse._

I raced after her, out onto the sidewalk in front of the house. But I was too late. She was already starting the car and sobbing into her cell phone, no doubt calling her mother, or Alli. Somebody she could truly count on to always take care of her. She tore out of the driveway, and never once looked back.

I couldn't think, couldn't breathe. This was wrong, all wrong. I was the one who was supposed to protect her. I was supposed to be her 'knight in shining armor'. But instead, I was the monster who had captured the perfect princess. But she had escaped my evil clutches, and a tiny part of my mind is glad that she's gone. She wouldn't get hurt anymore.

The angel was gone, vanished. And only the monster with a hole in his heart remained.

**A/N If you enjoyed it, please review. If you didn't, review anyway! I love to her your opinions. I think this might stay a one-shot, but if enough people like it or want more, I will continue. Thanks for reading.**

**Free virtual cookie to the reader who guess which Eminem song featuring another star I listened to on repeat for inspiration!**

**(Hint: The star who sang the chorus was a domestic abuse victim herself )**


	2. Chapter 2

I shoved the key into the lock, and pushed open the door. I shut it behind me, as I kicked my shoes off next to the dining room table.

The house was dead. Dishes were piled in the sink, forgotten clothes in piles on the floor. I didn't have the heart to take down the pictures of Clare and I, so they still hung on the walls, dusting collecting on top of the golden frames. I sat down on the couch, and turned on the TV, hoping the dim glow would help the room feel more at home.

Clare had yet to come home. If she could even call this house her home anymore. I had called her mother, just to make sure she was safe. Apparently she had not told her mother why she had left, just that we had broken up, otherwise shouldn't have been so eager to give out her location.

She was staying with Alli and Dave for the past few weeks, but was apartment shopping. I called her cell once or twice, but she hadn't answered. I have left only one voicemail so far, apologizing and begging her to come home.

She never called back.

I glanced at the ticking clock above the door. It read 5:34. My therapist appointment was at 6. I had to leave now, or I was going to end up late.

I walked out of the therapist's office and into the plain, bland waiting room. The bottle of pills rattled in my hands, and I felt myself smile. I was getting help. I was getting help, and when I was completely better, and only then, I would go and see Clare. I would apologize profusely, getting on my knees and begging if I had to, to come back home to me.

I would take her hand and pull her to my chest until I felt our heartbeats connect and beat to together. Then I would kiss her, sweetly and gently, not the normal, invasive and bruising kisses I gave her when I was angry.

We would go home together and then we would make beautiful, passionate love until she completely forgave me. We would never fight again; I would treat her like the perfect angel she is. I would never get mad at her, or jealous, or possessive, or anything that would upset her. We would have the perfect, picket-fence life we always planned. I promised her I would change, and this is me, keeping that promise.

The monster was changing into the knight in shining armor. And that knight was going to rescue the princess.

_**A/N:**__ I finally decided to update! So sorry it took so long, but I've been sick, school has started again, and friend drama beyond belief. Believe me; it takes a lot out of you._

_Anyway, this was supposed to be a one-shot, but someone wanted me to continue it. So I did, I'm planning at least 3 more chapters. Hopefully they will be updated regularly, but no promises!_

_Thanks for reading! Please review!_


	3. IMPORTANT NOTICE

Ok, I know this isn't a chapter. AND I AM SO SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I have been sick off and on, I got into major, friendship ending fights with two girls that now severely hate me, I've gotten into cosplaying KH with my other friend, I was hospitalized, Semester at school ended and a new one began, My winter dance at school is on Saturday, pep band every Friday night, the list of excuses goes one.

But I guess my main excuse is that I've lost interest. I know I feel horrible. But for most all of my stories, I have gotten to a point where I just can't come up with anymore ideas.

So my resolution is this: If anybody has any ideas for my stories, PM them to me and I shall see if they are helpful. If you want to talk about possibly collaborating on a story, or maybe even possibly taking one over, again, just PM me.

I will probably only be updating 'Aftermath of a Flirt' (my KH story) and possibly my 'He Couldn't Resist Something so Beautiful' (my Soul Eater story.)

Again, I feel so terrible. I'm uploading this to all of my stories so everybody knows this. But on a happy note, THIS IS NOT PERMANENT. Its only until I get my writing groove back on

Sincerely,

That_Crazy_RedHead_Chick.


End file.
